A malfoy's mistake
by lovelyasthesun
Summary: Draco has been heading into a downward spiral, drinking away his trouble. One night, he goes looking for someone to beat up. instead, he finds a certain mudblood and things go too far. will draco be able to deal with the guilt? will hermione ever be able
1. leaving home and finding a mudblood

A fist collides with the younger Malfoy's cheek.

"You will pay for embarrassing me boy!" his father screamed.

The boy, only 17, is crumpled on the floor. A scattering of bruises mar his body. His icy blonde hair is stained with his blood. His cool, gray eyes are closed, wincing in his pain.

With one last kick, Lucius Malfoy retreats to his study. The young boy moans, but surprisingly, a smile graces his thin lips. He stands upwards shakily. Limping to the closet he pulls out his trunk. Peaking in on his mother, who is sleeping in a kitchen chair, an empty bottle of sherry laying in her lap, he whispers "Goodbye".

Draco Malfoy stepped outside of his elegant manner and walked to the edge of the grounds, almost a mile away, the whole time dragging his heavy trunk behind him. He waved his wand in the air, and not 10 seconds later The Night Bus screeches to a halt in front of him. He pays for his ticket and slumps in a lumpy bed near the back. He is asleep before the bus takes off.

The next month Draco stays at the Leaky Cauldron, in and out of a drunken stupor. Finally, September 1 comes around and he leaves the dingy motel for Hogwarts, his home away from home, and the only person he can trust. His godfather, Severus Snape.

Arriving at Platform 9 3/4 he looks around for his "friends." Someone taps him on the shoulder. He looks around to see Vincent Crabbe, the muscle behind the Malfoy wit. Accompanying him is Gregory Goyle and Pansy, his on again off again girlfriend. Pansy laced her hand into his and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Her dark hair is in a loose bun, piled on her head with a few wisps breaking free. She has on a very low cut white top and short black skirt, showing off her assets. But, one would expect such of a person worthy of the desires of a Malfoy.

The train ride to the castle was uneventful. He was contentedly sipping a whiskey in the corner, enjoying the hazy feeling it gave him. He vaguely remembers an encounter with the Golden Trio. He murmured something about Scarheads and Mudbloods. Probably mentioned the lack of wealth of the Weasel family. Pansy was talking animatidly with a girlfriend across from him and Crabbe and Goyle were out somewhere, probably beating up Hufflepuffs. Draco felt the warmth in his stomach that the whiskey gave him.

The next month he spent falling in a downward spiral. He was still showing up for class and completing the homework, but it was often sloppy and incomplete. His eyes were constantly bloodshot and he was known to snap at anyone for any reason, including his fellow Slytherins. It was a Saturday night and Draco was already drunk. He was especially upset because he had had an argument with Pansy and, in the heat of the moment, had backhanded her. She had broken up with him and he had no one to take the anger out on. He staggered out of the common room, intent on finding someone to beat up.

After an hour of searching he still had not found anyone to vent his frustrations. He stumbled over near the library. His eyes lit up. The mudblood was just exiting, her nose buried in some book or another...ah, yes. Nothing would please him more than to beat up the mudblood...


	2. he goes too far

He followed her for a few steps, before jumping in front of her. She ran into his broad chest. She gasped, and looked up, then frowned. "Malfoy," she spat.

"Yes, Mudblood. Malfoy. Do you know, you seem to have run into me. You should apologize."

"Yeah, right! I'm not apologizing for-," she was cut short by a hand slapping her across the face. Despite herself she fell to the ground, unknowingly dropping her wand. It rolled away for her, stopping an inch from Malfoy's foot.

Hermione's skirt had rolled up, revealing her long, slender legs. Malfoy was aroused. He was still quite drunk, but able to walk. He bent down besider her. She smelled the alcohol on his breath. "You're beautiful," he whispered to her. Images entered into him mind. Instead of beating her as he had originally intended, they would make love. Yes, she would be flattered that a Malfoy had taken an interest in her body. Perhaps, if she was good enough in the sack, he would even consider being nice to her in public. Dare he think it, date her.

Unfortunately Hermione had other ideas. "Oh gods Malfoy! You're blasted! And that is just about the most disgusting thing I think I've ever heard! Just go back to your common room and..." she paused, searching for her wand.

Malfoy was angry. Furious, really. He picked up her wand. "Looking for something Granger?" he sneered. He pocketed her wand and pulled out his own. He cast a charm, binding her. Then he silenced her. Her eyes grew large, in fear.

He picked her up and threw her up over his shoulder. How dare the mudblood talk to him like that? He was going to beat her up now. But, he couldn't very well do it in the cooridor could he? A teacher might come along. It was very late now, but he dragged her into an empty classroom. He magically locked the door and cast a silencing charm over the room. He then lifted hers. She screamed. He hit her. She fell. He bent down over her, reveling in the fear he saw in her eyes. She really was beautiful. And, he thought, even if she wouldn't give herself to me willingly, that didn't mean he couldn't have his fun.

He threw her on the teacher's desk and cast a spell, causing her hands to be tied above her head, one at each corner. She struggled against her bonds. He stared down at her, marveling at his prize. He smiled. He began to unbutton her blouse, button by button. Slowly. He knew it was causing her more anguish, and inside that made him enjoy it all the more. She kicked out and screamed. He bound her feet and finished removing her blouse. She was wearing a simple peach colored bra. So sweet and innocent looking, he thought. Then he removed it.

He stared at her breasts and didn't notice that she had begun to cry. He kissed her forcefully, claiming her mouth. Her screams were muffled by his mouth. He became impatient and magically removed her skirt, shoes, and socks. She was left clothed in only her panties. Tears were pouring down her face, in shame, embarrassment and fear.

He clawed at her panties like an animal. Soon, she was left totally nude. She shivered. As did he, but for completely different reasons. Her body was wonderful. Her ample breasts, flat stomach, and shapely legs all turning him on. He trailed kisses down her body, taking each nipple in his mouth. He bit down on one. She called out in pain. "No," she cried. "Please don't! Just stop now Malfoy and I promise I won't tell anyone! Please don't! Please!"

This only egged him on...and downward. He pushed her legs apart, his face inches away from her opening. She whimpered. He expertly began to kiss her, lick her. He entered, one, then two fingers into her. He laughed at her. She was disgusted at her body, which was responding to his touch.

Using his mouth and one hand, rubbing her clit, he made her come. She felt pleasure and disgust. She wanted to throw up when she came down from her high. "You see, Granger!" he yelled triumphantly. "You wanted it! I knew you wanted me..."

He removed all of his clothes. He stood proudly in front of her, before climbing over her. She felt something hard brush against her legs and again felt the need to throw up. "Say you want me," he commanded. She remained silent, deciding to keep her dignity. He hit her. "Say it!" Still silence. He took his mouth and bit down hard on her nipple, drawing blood.

She screamed again. In a small voice she whispered, "I want you."

"Good. Now say 'Draco, I want you to put your cock inside me and fuck me."

"No, don't make me say it, please..." He bit down hard on the other nipple. "No! Draco..I-I-I w-want your..."she gasped in between sobs. "I want your...your..c-cock inside of... inside of me."

"And..." he prompted.

"And I w-want y-you...I wan-want you t-to...to...please! Don't...t-to fu..fuck me." She finished.

He plunged into her, hard. Not waiting for her to prepare herself. Her body felt like it was going to split in two. She screamed. He was kissing her again. And moaning into her mouth. He began to pump in and out of her. Something inside her broke, and she bled a little bit. "Oh, Hermione!" he moaned in ecstacy. "Oh, you have such a nice tight pussy. I love you!" A few minutes later he came inside of her. He pulled out, a smile on his face. "You were the best I've ever had, I think, Mudblood," he sneered at her. She didn't say anything. He had finally broken her. She wasn't fighting anymore.

Malfoy realized this and knew he couldn't be done just yet. "Tell my you love me."

"I love you."

He untied her and pulled her to the ground, onto her knees in front of him. He put his cock in her mouth. "Give me a blow job," he commanded. She looked up at him and he saw in her eyes that she didn't know how. He rolled his eyes and pulled her hands up to his cock. "Rub it and suck on it," he said. She did as she was told. His eyes rolled back in this head. He came in her mouth and made her swallow it.

As if she were a child, he helped her put her clothes back on. She was silent, her eyes glazed over in her pain. His were glazed too, from alcohol and ecstacy.

"You were a good fuck Granger," he told her, pulling her into a deep kiss, claiming her mouth again. He threw her wand in the opposite direction as he was heading and left her. "Oh," he said , calling over his back. "And if you tell anyone, I'll do it again, then I'll kill you." The threat was serious, even though he slurred through it. She nodded, walking stoically towards her wand.


	3. the next day

Still Malfoy POV, but later Hermione's

He woke up the next morning with a horrible hangover. He took a potion and immediately felt his head begin to clear. It took him a moment, before he remembered the events of the previous night. Fight...Pansy...whiskey...GRANGER! He remembered everything he had done to her. He ran to the toilet and threw up.

He leaned against the wall, clad only in his boxers. He put his head in his hands and began to sob. Oh god! He thought. What have I done? He had..._raped_ Hermione. He was a horrible person. She'll never forgive me, he thought. How could she ever?

Someone knocked on the door. It was Blaise Zabini. "Malfoy?" he asked.

"Yeah, I need a minute," he responded, taking on the Malfoy person once more.

"Well, you're going to be late for breakfast," Zabini told him.

Malfoy stood up and decided he had to act normal. He couldn't let everyone know what he had done. He got dressed and fixed a sneer on his face, but inside, he wanted to kill himself.

Hermione POV

All through breakfast Harry and Ron kept asking her what was wrong. Indeed, she looked awful. Her hair was in disaray, and had been pulled over her face trying to hide her swollen lips and the bruise just beside her left eye. She was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpanst under her robes, instead of her usual blouse, skirt, or jeans. There were dark circles under her bloodshot eyes.

She debated telling them exactly what had conspired last night. But she couldn't. She couldn't tell them that he had made her come. That her body had enjoyed his tongue and his hands. Sure, when he had actually entered her, nothing had happened, but...and she had told him she loved him.

Part of her wanted to go to Madame Pomfrey and get healed. But, she couldn't do that either. Because surely the mediwitch would wonder why her breasts were so bruised and why she winced when she sat down. I have no one to turn to she thought.

Draco Malfoy entered the Great Hall a few moments later. Hermione felt the fear start to creep up her spine, drowning her. Malfoy was wearing his usualy sneer but...there was something else. He too had dark circles under his eyes and he looked, _sad_ about something. He looked her way and she averted her eyes, which now had tears threatening to pour out.

She excused herself from the table and took off into the corridor, not daring to look over at the Slytherin table. When she was in the hallway she started to run, but felt a hand grab her hand. She turned around to come face to face with..._Malfoy_! She opened her mouth to scream, but he gently put his hand over it. "Please," he whispered, sounding almost horse. "Please, just listen to me."

He looked into her eyes, pleading. She slowly nodded her head. "I-I'm sorry," he said simply, but the pain was evident in his voice. Her hollow eyes looked into his. A few tears fell down her cheek. He too began to cry. She looked up at him and said only one word. "Why?"

He was a little taken aback. But he knew he owed her an answer. "I - Pansy broke up with me...drunk...angry..wanted to beat someone up..found you. Y-you," his voice broke. "I was drunk, Hermione. I w-was just gon-g-gonna beat you up a little, but...but you l-looked..you just looked so beautiful. I-I wanted you a-and I though y-you'd want me too...you d-didn't and I j-  
just...I just lost it. I'm sorry. I'm s-so sorry."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Say you forgive me."

"I can't. You not only took my virginity, you took my dignity. You took everything. You took my home, my life, my heart...I can't look my two best friends in the eyes. All I feel is shame because of you. Because you...y-you raped me."

Around the corner a certain green-eyed boy and his redheaded friend gasped in horror.


	4. next year: dumbledore's surprise

Harry and Ron stormed over to where Hermione and Draco stood, fire blazing in their eyes. Both of them were clenching their fists. Hermione was facing away from them, but Draco saw them. "Wait.." he started but was cut short by Ron's fist slamming into his chin. Hermione screamed.

"No! Stop it!"

Her two best friends turned towards her, shocked at her reaction. They had expected some sort of thanks, but certainly not this.

Harry turned towards her. "Mione," he said. "What happened?" His face was contorted in pain. Tears were threatening to pour out of his eyes. Hermione turned away from him, the tears falling down her face steadily now. She didn't answer him.

After several moments, Harry tried again, "Mione?"

That was the last thing she heard before she passed out.

Hermione POV

She sat up, quickly. Her head was killing her. She was dizzy and nauseated. And scared. Harry and Ron knew. Hermione didn't like showing weakness, and this only proved once more that poor little Hermione couldn't take care of herself.

She looked around the hospital wing. A few beds over, Malfoy was laying, unconscious. Apparently Harry and Ron had given him a beating. Hermione felt a pang of hurt, she had passed out and instead of rushing to her, they had taken the time to beat him up?

Madame Pomfrey hustled into the room. "Oh good, you're up," she stated. "Miss Granger, you have substantial injuries that can not possibly have resulted only from fainting. Misters Potter and Weasley have stated that you were attacked by Mister Malfoy, but I'm going to need you to tell me exactly what happened, or else we won't be able to punish him."

Hermione sat deep in thought. She didn't want any more people to know, and Malfoy had seemed genuinely sorry. "Harry and Ron were mistaken Madame Pomfrey. A spell backfired on me, it wasn't Malfoy. You know how they are. They saw me with him and automatically assumed he must have hit me or something," she said. She added a laugh in for good measure. Madame Pomfrey smiled understandingly.

"Now, as for the week of lessons you've missed..."

"Wait, a _week_? How long have I been out?"

"Oh, almost six days, dear. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell. Mister Potter ran in here, you unconscious in his arms. Mister Weasley was not far behind. Mister Malfoy over there came in the day after you. Someone gave him a pretty nasty beating, but we can't know who until he wakes up. Anyway dear, your clothes are over here and you should see your Head of House for your assignments..."

Hermione entered the common room quietly, hoping to just go to her room and rest. No such luck. Harry and Ron were waiting for her. "Hermione!" they shouted in unison.

"Hi guys," she said weakly. She walked over and sat down on the couch. Harry and Ron sat on either side of her. She sighed. They were going to be extra protective of her from now on. 'Goodbye privacy' she thought.

"Did you tell them about Malfoy? Is he going to be arrested?"

She sighed. "No guys, I didn't. He made a mistake and he seems genuinely sorry. I don't want the rest of his life ruined, no matter how much he may deserve it."

The boys just stared at her disbelievingly.

Six months later

"So, how do you think you did on the Transfiguration exam Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Fine, I mean, it was just a regular exam. It wasn't like a N.E.W.T. or O.W.L. or anything, Mione. Chill, we're done with exams. We just want to relax," he said.

Hermione yawned and leaned her head on his shoulder. She was tired. Although they were less frequent, she still had nightmares a lot. But, she was healing and Harry and Ron were there for her. Truthfully, sometimes she felt suffocated. They were always with her. She knew they were just trying to keep her safe, but she needed space.

The last day of school came too soon. They boarded the train and began searching for a compartment. They opened one and came face to face with Draco Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. "Oh!" Hermione squeaked. She had barely seen Malfoy the rest of the year. He had avoided her, and she him. "Um...we'll go find another compartment." He nodded solemnly. Ron and Harry glared at him and cracked their knuckles for good measure.

They finally found an empty compartment a few minutes later. They were joined by Ginny, Luna, and Neville. The ride was peaceful and they waited until the last minute to say goodbye. Hermione hugged Ginny, Luna, and Neville first, waiting as long as she could to have to say goodbye to Harry and Ron. Finally, she knew she had to tell them goodbye. She threw her arms around Ron first. "Take care of yourself," he told her. She turned to Harry who picked her up in a tight embrace. "I love you Mione," he whispered. "Don't ever forget that. I'll miss you."

"Oh, I love you too, Harry," she sighed. "Keep in touch." And with that, they departed.

Three months later

"Harry! Ron! Over here," Hermione yelled at the two. She hadn't seen them all summer, and seeing them now flooded her heart with emotion. She hugged them both. "Oh, I've missed you guys so much! Now," she said seriously. "Which one of you's been made Head Boy. I want to know who I'm going to be sharing a common room with."

"Mione, neither of us is Head Boy. It must be someone else."

"Well, who..."

Just then she saw Draco Malfoy walking with Blaise Zabini. Pinned on his shoulder was a shiny, gold _Head Boy badge_. Hermione's throat swelled and her heart stopped. She lost her footing, but Harry caught her before she hit the ground. "Mione what-," he stopped mid-sentence, seeing Draco and his badge. "No," he whispered.

He dragged her onto the train, but they were stopped by Professor McGonagall. "Miss Granger, you are needed in the head compartment. I doubt you will see Mister Potter or Mister Weasley again until the feast. I need to talk to you and Mister Malfoy and then you will need to meet with the prefects."

Hermione nodded and started to follow her professor. "Wait Professor!" Harry called. McGonagall turned to him. "Mister Potter, I did not give you permission to speak. Now, I need Miss Granger to come with me and that is final! Not one more word out of you."

Neither Hermione nor Draco said a word to each other until after the feast, when they both followed Dumbledore to the common room they would share, on the second floor behind the portrait of an old witch with a rather large mole above her lip.

"Your password is 'unity' and I expect you to be civil to one anther, no matter what house you are from," Dumbledore told them, smiling.

Draco let Hermione enter first. She gasped. The room was beautiful. Decorated with green and gold. There was a large common room with fluffy white carpet and a plump green couch. There were two big chairs, creme colored with a gold swirling pattern. The kitchen was right next to the living room. It had hardwood floors and everything they would ever need should they choose to cook in. There was a large bathroom that they would share. The walls were pale blue and there was a large bathtub in the middle, that looked like a hot tub. It had many spouts for bubbles and perfumes and such.

Hermione made her way to the room with a scarlet lion on the door. She opened the door and was shocked at how perfectly the room fit her. The walls were black, and her bedspread was teal and lime green. All the furniture was white and there was a purple rug under the bed. All of her clothes were in the wardrobe already, and there were a few of her stuffed animals on the bed and pictures of her, her parents, various members of her extended family, Harry, Ron, Ginny, the Weasleys, and some Order members.

Meanwhile, Draco entered his room. The walls were dark green and all the furniture was dark mahogany wood. There was no carpet and the bed spread was a lighter shade of green. There were pictures of him, his mother, his father, Snape, and Blaise Zabini on the walls. He noticed that there were none of Pansy. He lied down on the bed, not even bothering to take off his clothes or get under the covers and fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning, Hermione woke first. There was a note on the counter in the kitchen from Professor Dumbledore. It told her to go wake Draco and that they should have breakfast together and get to know each other. It warned her that he had ways of knowing if they did, though he wouldn't know what they talked about. Although she would rather eat a skrewt than talk to him, she was never one to defy a direct order, so she stood outside his room and cast a charm that made an alarm go off very loudly in his room.

She heard him scream and laughed a little, despite herself. He ran out of the room, still in his clothes from the night before. She blushed, realizing that she was wearing a skimpy silky red tank top and matching shorts. "Um...Dumbledore left a note...we have to eat breakfast together...have to talk to each other...spell that'll make us...," she stammered.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Right."

They sat down at the kitchen table. There was a variety of foods, including eggs, sausage, bacon, biscuits, biscuits, fresh fruit, bagles, muffins, waffles, pancakes, cereal, milk, orange juice, pumpkin juice, tea, coffee, and anything else you could think of. They both fixed their plates and as soon as each of them had taken a bite a note appeared out of thin air in the middle of the table. Hermione recognized Dumbledore's handwriting.

To my head boy and girl,

Surprise! In order to make sure you truly get to know each other, a few drops of Veritaserum have been added to the first bites of your food. Don't worry, the rest is poison free. Remember, I have ways of checking that you really got to know each other! Well, tuck in!

Albus Dumbledore

Hermione gasped, as did Draco. Suddenly, Hermione was scared for how this morning may turn out.


	5. secrets and hugs

**Authors note: sorry it took so long to update! School and crap...exams. Anyway, on with the story...**

They both stared at each other for a minute. Neither knew what to say. Hermione decided

to break the ice.

"So...what's your favorite subject?"

"Potions."

"Okay, stupid question."

"Do we really have to go through this bullshit? Why don't we _actually_ try and get to know each other?"

Hermione looked at him, obviously surprised. "Fine," she said dangerously. "Pray tell, why did you rape me?"

He strained against the potion, but was unsuccessful. "I was drunk and...I really needed to vent my anger. I wanted to beat someone up and then...you're skirt went up your leg...it's no excuse, I was drunk and...I'm sorry."

"That's it. It was a..a drunken mistake? Am I supposed to feel better now? Oh well! He was drunk! All is forgiven! It doesn't work that way!" she shouted angrily.

"You know what Granger? You don't know what my life is fucking like, so don't you go fucking acting like you're so much better than me."

"I am! I'm not a rapist!"

"No, you're a stupid spoiled little brat. Let me guess, you live in a nice little house with Mummy and Daddy. You're their 'little princess'. And they're 'oh so proud' of how smart and pretty and funny you are. You have a dog or cat. It's name is Fluffy or some bullshit like that. Well let me tell you something, when I go home, I get the shit beaten out of me. No one has ever said 'I love you' to me. Most nights I go hungry because Mum's blacked out drunk and Dad's out fucking some whore. He beats the shit out of me and he's almost killed Mum. Think about that when you're going around acting all high and mighty."

Hermione was stunned. "I had no idea..."

"No, you didn't."

"I'm sorry your life has...sucked. But that doesn't change our situation."

"Couldn't you just...could you just please forgive me? Please, Hermione..." he had tears in his eyes.

Hermione closed her eyes and then, taking a deep breath, reached for his hand. She opened her eyes and looked into his steely gray ones. "I forgive you," she said softly.

They were both crying. They embraced in a tight hug, forging a friendship of sorts. It was in this position that they stayed for hours...

**Short I know but...Hopefully it was good. Leave comments and/or suggestions. Thank you**


	6. the love triangle

**Hey guys! Thanks to all the reviewers. On with the story. Voice your opinion. I'm thinking a Hermione/Harry ship but lately I've also considered a Hermione/Draco ship. I know he raped her and everything, but she's forgiven him now so...Anywho tell me what you think. **

Harry panted down the hallway, just finishing up with a rather grueling Quidditch

practice. He was almost at the Gryffindor dormitory when he decided to stop by the head quarters and check on Hermione. She had given him the password 'unity' their first week, so he let himself in.

"Mione! Where are you-" He was interrupted by the sight in front of him. Draco was asleep on the couch with..._Hermione_ in his lap. '_What the hell?' _Harry thought. He cleared his throat loudly.

Hermione blinked her eyes open and sat up, rather disoriented. Draco stretched but kept his eyes closed.

When her eyes finally adjusted she saw the figure looking down on them. "Harry!" she cried.

Malfoy sat strait up at this, eyes wide. "Potter," he smirked.

"Hermione," Harry said. "What the hell is going on? He didn't...He didn't do _anything_ again did he?"

"What? Oh, God no Harry. Look, we've just been talking all morning and I," she took a deep breath. "I've decided to forgive him."

"_WHAT! HERMIONE HE RAPED YOU! RAPED YOU! AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO...GOING TO,_" he was losing his voice and the last sentence was barely a whisper. "You can't Mione. He...You don't know him. He's evil."

"Hey Potter," Malfoy yelled. "I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong. And...I haven't even told her this yet...but I have feelings for Hermione now. I think I might love her," he turned towards Hermione. "I think I might love you. I would never ever dream of hurting you ever again."

Hermione walked over to him and took his hand. "I..I don't know Draco. I need to think about it." She ran off to her room leaving the two bewildered enemies behind.

Draco turned to say something to Harry but before he could caught a fist to his jaw.

He coughed and spurted. Harry shook his head. "Damn," he said. "Why'd you turn? That would've caught your jaw perfectly."

"Potter," Draco gasped. "I really do care about her. A lot. I," gasp, "I love her. I would never hurt her...again."

Harry glared down at him. "You don't rape people you care about. You stand by them for years, loving them in secret so that you don't risk the friendship. You stay up until four in the morning not saying anything, just sitting with your arm around her while she cries herself to sleep. You slip her funny notes in Potions when she gets upset. You sit around for hours listening to her talk about some monotonous subject that you couldn't care less about but that somehow, someway becomes interesting just because she says it. _That's _how you care about someone Malfoy." And with that Harry stormed out the door, leaving a stunned Malfoy on the floor.

**So, what'd you guys think? I thought it was good and now it's up to Hermione to decide...The rapist who she now cares about or her longtime best friend. **


	7. Decision

Ok, so this story is like a year old now, but I've decided to finish it. I've reread it and think it's a pretty good start so.. hopefully this next chapter's up to code!

Hermione sat in her room, wrapping herself up in the big bed. Her mind couldn't wrap itself around the event of that morning. The boy.. No, the man who had raped her less than a year ago was now saying that he was in love with her.

Somehow, someway, that wasn't scaring her the way that it should. She wasn't frightened of him anymore, at least now more than necessary. Still, she shivered thinking about that night that he had violated her so horribly. The night that haunted her dreams.

She had forgiven him, yes, but there was no way she could forget. She couldn't forget crying herself to sleep in Harry and Ron's arms, or the way that she wouldn't let them hug her sometimes because she couldn't be too close.

She couldn't forget the way her parents had pleaded with her to tell them what had happened to their little girl, and how she had told them she was fine but still couldn't sit in the room alone with her father.

Sitting there, with tears running down her cheeks, she made a decision. She couldn't be with him, not now. Not when she had so many other things to focus on. It was her last year and she just couldn't handle the emotional toll of a relationship with the man who had raped her.

Feeling satisfied, she heard a knock on her door. It was Draco. "Mione?" He called.

She opened the door, her eyes still bloodshot and still wearing the silky pajamas from that morning. "I can't," she said simply. "I just can't."

He nodded wearily, not surprised in the least. He reached up to wipe away a straggling tear from her cheek and was hurt when she flinched slightly.

She tried to prevent it, to save his feelings but in her very core that action caused her to shrink away. "I'm sorry," she said, ashamed. "It's not just you. It's… every guy, really."

"But it's because of me," he said.

"No. It's not. The Draco standing before me right now, who shared all those things with me this morning, he's a very different guy than the one from that night."

"Is he really? Is he really, Hermione? What's changed? It was still me who locked you in that classroom and…" He choked up, feeling the bile in his throat.

"You have shame. You have humility and guilt and for me, that makes all the difference in the world. But you have to understand, I'm still that girl. I'm still shaken and scared and hurt. I've forgiven you the act, but I haven't forgotten it and I never will."

He backed away from her, physically shrunken by her words. It wasn't that they were particularly harsh, but they were true and brutally honest and he hated that he had done that to her.

"You should go find Potter," he told her. "He has… you should just find him."


	8. Something Unexpected

Hermione stumbled into the hallway outside her shared dormitory, her head swimming with the events from the morning. "Go find Potter," Draco had told her.

She grasped at the cold stone walls, hoping to keep her balance. She allowed her feet to carry her, not to any particular destination but just to keep moving. Without her noticing, tears had begun to fall down her cheeks. Soon she was sobbing, completely uncontrollably and had to finally collapse against a suit of armor.

She stayed their until her tears had dried and she regained her composure. Standing up, though somewhat shakily, she moved towards Gryffindor tower. The Fat Lady greeted her kindly, though she was unable to look up into the warm eyes she had become so familiar to these last six years. She simply mumbled the password, "Mandrake," and the portrait swung to accept her.

It was evening and only a couple of students were in the common room. She realized that the rest of them must have gone to dinner and, with a loud rumble in her stomach, realized that she had not eaten since breakfast. She turned around to move towards the Great Hall when she heard a voice calling her name.

"Hermione?"

She turned around to see Dean Thomas, watching her curiously. "Hello, Dean," she greeted him cordially.

"Where are you going?"

"As much as I'd like to avoid it, I'm heading to the Great Hall for supper. I'm staving."

"I've got some sandwiches in my room if you wanna avoid the Hall so badly," he offered, though it seemed more out of politeness than a desire to spend some one on one time with her.

Hermione realized she must look like a mess. No make up, messy hair, clothes thrown on without any consideration. Ignoring her impulse to turn down his likely insincere offer, she headed with him up to his room. She just couldn't handle seeing Harry or Draco right now.

Surprisingly, her time with Dean was quite nice. They talked as they never had before. Mostly just small talk about classes and gossip. Hermione found herself laughing and enjoying his company. It still felt odd to her, though. She was completely alone with a guy for the first time and didn't feel any anxiety. Even with Harry and Ron and her father, she'd felt somewhat apprehensive. Perhaps time really was healing her wounds.

After a while, Dean produced a bottle of firewhiskey. "Been saving this for a right while," he grinned. "Care to join me?"

Hermione hesitated for a moment. She was Head Girl, after all. Sometimes though, she decided, she had to enjoy the moment. She took the bottle from his hands, gulping down a huge mouthful of the foul liquid.

Dean laughed as she squinched her face up, coughing. "That was awful!" She exclaimed, though she found she quite liked the warm, heady feeling the alcohol gave her. With Dean's encouragment, she drank more and more of the firewhiskey until she could drink without making the horrible faces.

Once the bottle was empty, they had moved to the floor, leaning against Dean's bed. "This is really nice," she admitted, though slightly giggly from the amount of alcohol she'd consumed.

"Yeah, it really is," he slurred back.

Without thinking, Hermione began to remove her blouse. "Mione what the fuck are you doing," Dean laughed.

"Taking my top of," she smiled at him. She was now left in her skirt and only a peach colored bra on top. Despite himself, Dean felt his gaze drawn to her chest. If he had looked closely, he might have noticed a couple of scars on her milky breasts, the reminder of an attack she'd sooner forget.

In her head, Hermione wanted to have sex. Needed to. She wanted to have sex without the reminder of Draco. Without thinking of him, without any strings attatched. She needed to do this for herself, or she might never be able to.

She moved to straddle Dean's legs and began kissing him, hungrily and with a need she'd never experienced. Though he seemed to draw back at first, he soon returned her kiss with equal passion. Together, they moved up to the bed, never breaking their kiss.

Dean pulled back to remove his tie and shirt. He started to say something, but Hermione pushed her finger to his lips. "No talking," she whispered huskily. "Just fuck me."

She layed back against the pillow, pulling him on top of her. With her left hand, she linked her fingers with his, hoping to hold on to him. To be able to feel him there with her. Hoping to stay connected with him, desperately wanting to hold on and not slip back into those horrible memories.

With her right hand, she reached behind her back, unhooking her bra easily. He pulled it off of her, staring hungrily down at her breasts. Unhooking his hand from hers, he began to massage and knead them in his hands. Firmly, but not unenjoyable to her.

Then he moved down, pulling her skirt and underwear off quickly and efficiently. He kissed up her milky white thighs, before unbuttoning his pants and coming up to claim her mouth again. She sat up with him, pulling off his pants and boxers.

She layed back down and moved her legs apart. He moved into her, slowly, but then picked up his pace once she was adjusted to him. She arched her back against him, wrapping her legs around his back. He placed kisses down her neck and shoulder blades while she clasped onto the headboard to brace herself.

She felt electric and soon found herself nearing climax. She came first, calling out slightly and he did, shortly after, murmuring her name in her hair.

Afterwords he rolled over next to her, both of them panting and sweating. Still drunk and heady, Hermione glanced over at him, holding his hand, and giggled. He knew the act was not rude or awkward and found it endearing and started laughing with her.

"Hey, Dean, how come you missed-," Neville started, arriving in the dormitory and noticing Dean in bed. Hermione covered her face with the covers, hoping not to be recognized.

Neville flushed red and turned to return to the common room. As soon as they were alone again she jumped from the bed, pulling her robe around her naked body and frantically collecting the rest of her clothing.

"I've gotta go, I'm sorry," she yelled after a thoroughly confused Dean Thomas.

With the robe wrapped tightly around her, the Gryffindors in the common room were unable to tell she was naked underneath as she rushed past them on her way out the portrait. She ran the entire way back to her common room , not looking up at anyone she passed.

Rushing into the Head Boy and Girl dormitory she was relieved to see no sign of Draco and rushed into her room, collapsing against the door, breathing heavily.

"Hermione?" came a knock at the door.


End file.
